This November I am Thankful for a good night’s rest

So every November I have seen people do the November Challenge which in tales doing a daily status of what they are thankful for. I haven’t attempted this only because I feel like I would forget and burn out after the first week haha. However, Today I will be doing a thankful blog post. Today I am thankful to finally have a mattress to sleep on. This is kind of embarrassing to admit but for the past six months we have been sleeping on an air mattress. When we first moved to New Jersey as many of you know from my previous posts we had hit rock bottom. We were struggling to keep afloat, the only way for us not to lose our home was to rent it out. Which kind of put us in a strange position seeing as we needed that house to live in. when we finally caught a break it meant relocating to the east coast. Of course the job that my husband had been offered did not pay for relocation, but this was our only life line at the time. With a very heavy heart and no pride left we reached out to my mother for financial help. I have to say she came through in a very big way. We sold as much of our belonging as we could before leaving and packed up our home.

When we finally got to New Jersey we moved into a very small depressing apartment because it was the only thing we could afford at the time. After about six months we were able to look elsewhere and found a beautiful old Victorian home that we currently live in. When we moved we had an old bedroom set that we have purchased the first year of our marriage and like most new parents didn’t realize how much kids have accidents or end up getting sick in your bed needless to say our mattress was very worn out. It was a disgusting shade of brown and yellow and had a huge hole on the side where the springs were coming out. I was so embarrassed when we had to haul it with us from TX but it was the only thing that we had. So we decided that we would not be hauling it for a second time into our new home. Even if that meant having to wait till we did have the money for something better.
 I had no idea that it would take so long for us to actually sleep in a bed though. I thought a month tops. But as parents we had to make the choice of having a mattress or our kids having their own beds. How could I make my boys sleep on an air mattress? I know they didn’t care they would of slept anywhere if we had called it camping, but I wanted them to have something that was their own. So where was the best place to get more for the few pennies that we had saved? Of course IKEA we purchased bunk beds and a wardrobe for a very reasonable price. My mom being the amazing grandmother that she is was very generous in decking out their bedroom with Ninja Turtle Gear. I was so happy! They finally had something normal after our very depressing chaotic year. I was proud of us for being able to give them something that made them so happy even if meant tossing and turning every night from back pain. Seeing them sleep in a bed that they loved, and having their own space it was worth it.

Slowly we gave payments towards a mattress. Sometimes we couldn’t give much but $25 especially during the furlough and government shutdown and then me being laid off. FINALLY TODAY WAS THE DAY!! We have a wonderful soft mattress that feels like heaven. As parents you do what you can to make sure your kids have the best. I give them what they need, to me them sleeping in a proper bed was just more important. It’s amazing the things we take for granted, but if feels really good when you work hard for the things in your life. So today I am thankful that I get to sleep on a mattress and know that my husband and I are resilient. We have survived so much in our marriage that I have faith that we can make it through anything. I feel like a million bucks today

Post Tooth Fairy Morning.....

Fall is upon us... and it is beautiful! I love my little town <3

  So last night I snuck into my boys room and quietly retrieved my baby's tooth.... then i slipped a little pouch of magic money.... (it wouldn't have mattered what i did because that boy goes into a coma once he has fallen asleep haha) this morning after our youngest
had already climbed into our bed in the wee morning hours crying that he wanted a cuddle. We were awoken by a very happy boy. In my delirious sleep deprived state
(that is pretty much my constant state who am I kidding lol) with my sexy dragon breath I whispered  "success" and my husband just smiled.

These are the mornings we live for as parents. However....Once we were actually awake my son was showing me his pouch full of glitter asking if he was going to be able to fly now that he had "fairy dust" my youngest realized what had just happened..... a fairy had snuck into their room in the middle of the night and forgotten him.... and the tears that came next were grand! I tried to explain to a 2yr old that the tooth fairy only leaves money if you have lost a tooth and one day it would be his turn. all morning he has been trying to figure out a way to lose a tooth. *sigh* but then the tears stopped i walked into the kitchen to find him counting some change. I sat down at the table with him and asked "baby what are you doing? where did you get that money?". He answered "mama i'm counting my treasure... I got it from your change can" hmmmm.... after explaining that he couldn't just take things he said " well i'm going to be a pirate its my job to take things" and he walked aways with his treasure.... and i sat down and drank my reheated coffee.... (i have no shame i take coffee in all its forms). My mornings are never dull and i'm waiting for my hair to turn green from either stress, or all the coffee i drink. Now I will tackle this disgusting house that somehow always gets away from me...while we are making memories...

Mama loook!!!!

Hey what you got there??? Wait a tick....

NOOOOOO!!!!! 

"mama the tooth fairy doesn't love me"..... ( knife in the gut....) 

I decided to be a pirate and steal treasure......

Tooth Fairy Currency

Well it seems that my little baby is all grown up! His tooth has fallen and so have a few of my tears, :( But now that its happened I want him to have an awesome memory! So had the idea of getting unusual money to make tooth fairy currency to make it more magical. Its not rare collectible type stuff but just something that he doesn't see on an everyday basis. Now the tutorial that I'm making isn't his original first tooth. Its what I had to do after I learned from the first one that I decided to make this tutorial. The first time that he lost a tooth I made him this beautiful drawstring pouch with a felt tooth sown on the front of the pouch it was soooo cute!! It was such a hit that he wanted to carry it everywhere we went because he was so indecisive of his purchase. It was such a hit that HE LOST IT! HAHAHA. So I decided to do something more kid friendly this time around.

 Once this second tooth became loose he was constantly on high alert about when it was going to fall off! Every morning I was briefed on the loose tooth situation. Time went by and nothing happened, so we kind of just forgot about it when we decided to visit family in Boston for a 4-day weekend. That night we got an update on the tooth! It was time he said... and I went into panic mode! of course I could of just tossed some change under his pillow and he wouldn't of cared either way... its all about the loot!

However... I am "THAT MOM" you know the one people are always rolling their eyes at when my kid has this super awesome unique backpack, or that mom who makes cute bento box lunches with special notes and beautiful shape food, or "THAT MOM" who some how made a giant pinata for his class pinata contest at school. (its supposed to be a grenade)

 I am the mom that has to take a picture of everything because I swear I'm going to put it in a scrapbook one day! YES ladies and gentlemen I am that annoying mom, and I wear it proudly. so with that being said, him losing a tooth and not waking up to a beautiful little pouch full of "magic" money was just not something that was going to happen... not on my annoying mom watch haha!

Here is the Dollar Tree supply list:

• Elmer's Glue 
• Fine glitter (not big chunky glitter)
• a small paint brush
• organza pouch

most of the list can be avoided if you find SPRAY ON GLITTER either glitter glue or the one for your hair. I however was not able to find it at our dollar store so i decided that i was going to use what i had on hand (from my last dollar store shopping spree hehe) and not waste gas or money. However you will need to get the pouches. They are usually in the wedding or baby shower section of Dollar Tree

Bank list
unique currency ( i used dollar gold coins, and two dollar bills this time) best place to get unique money is.... you guessed it at a bank! I would get at least $20 worth to make pre made tooth fairy pouches that you will have on hand for a while... no searching under couch cushions for tooth fairy money :). My mom being the wonderful grandmother that she is wanted to contribute to this Magic Currency idea so she actually funded my plan LOL I know many grandmothers also love to be included in these type of moments! So don't be shy tell your mom or mother in law about your plan and most will love it and jump at the chance... if you don't have that type of relationship with them just go to the bank lol

Ideas for unique currency 

• 50 cent pieces
• Silver dollars, 
• $5 gift card to their favorite ice cream place
•  chuck e cheese tokens.

I would use anything that my child considers "valuable" and make it a coupon. such as Screen time coupons 

( my kids can earn computer or video game time with chores or good deeds), movie night coupons, or even book store coupons. I know some moms don't really want "money" type treats so you can pretty much make any kind of coupon and add glitter to it haha.

1. You do not need a ton of glue just a nickle size blob will do the trick

2. Spread it out for a nice thin layer 

3. Sprinkle the fine glitter a little will go a long way because you want the money to be visible. ( I only do the front of the bill not the back just in case it is questioned at the store they can use the counterfeit pen to make sure its real)

4. The glue will dry clear and you will have this pretty glitter bill ( i am aware that money is government property please spare me the lectures)

6. I purchased a pack of six organza bags and distributed the gold coins some have more than others but i will be putting my coupons or two dollar bills inside also. its up to you how much you want to give i think one for every year is good. My son is five so he will get five dollars in total the first tooth he got six but that was just because i was excited lol

7. Save for future tooth fairy moments! I will have a few in my purse to send with my mom just in case my son spends the night and loses a tooth, or if we take a trip and there is a loose tooth situation again I also add a little receipt or note from the tooth fairy my first one was hand written but since have looked on pinterest and found very pretty FREE PRINTABLE so go ahead follow me on pinterest!! 

New Jersey Life....

Well we have been in New Jersey since October so about 6 months or so. It seems longer for some reason (LOL). It’s weird how life is such a compromise, when we were living in TX we were counting our pennies and I was gasping for air as I was drowning in a sea debt. Last may my husband had to leave the country and do some contracting work in Kuwait just so we could make ends meat… but I was still having to decide what bills would I pay and which I would have to skip. I was applying for anyone that would hire but in a job market where over 300 people had applied for a minimum wage position at the new dunken dounuts; I was seriously having no luck. Having to deal with my children’s separation anxiety was just the icing on the cake to a very stressful summer. So.... Having no food, no money and trying to desperately to find any job that would hire me we had to make the cross country drive with our two little babies to New Jersey because my husband got a JOB!!! <3.

Almost a year later from husband having to move to kuwait... we are living in New Jersey . I have to say our struggles and tears and prayers were not in vain. Husband started his job soon after we arrived. As for me? I hit the grown running and found a job within a month of being here

I have to say that all in all we have been successful! we are stable and happy to say that we are debt free! There is this incredible weight that gets lifted when you know that people will not be calling you every hour asking for money. Money that I didn’t have and even if I had it, it would have gone to buy food not pay a 300 dollar credit card minimum. But it has been a steep price to pay for being more stable. I don’t really get to see the husband; He is always away on business. even when he is home he is always answering work calls... (which he hates that i mention it im sure) 

As much as I am nothing but grateful for all the blessings that we have received this year I have to be honest I am always stressed. I miss my husband and I miss our relationship so much. Its hard not having him to hear my funny stories, or tell me that I need to stop stressing about my boys adjusting. I miss cuddling on the couch watching the big bang theory. I just miss US. At time I feel so selfish, I know how hard he works to provide for us. I just miss him so much.

 More money More problems as Biggie said…

We went from our modest home in El Paso TX, to living in a hotel for a month in New Jersey, and now to our small two bedroom apartment (that is double what I was paying for my 4bd 2ba home in TX). Being told that we would have a place to stay when we got to New Jersey and then once arriving here being told that we no longer could stay there was a bitter pill to swallow but lucky my husband and I are resilient. We were able to scrounge up some money and didn’t end up homeless like we would have been. Living in a small apartment hasn’t given me the space to do my scrapbooking or other crafts which makes me very sad because it was my only outlet at home. We are hoping to rent a home some time before the summer hopefully *fingers Crossed* well hope that you all have a wonderful week… happy Monday to you all.

Recycled jet pack for my boys

Hello everyone! 

I know I've been terrible at keeping up with this blog there are a few reasons why one is one of my previous blogs was very personal and it made some people very upset, people being my step-dad for a man that claims he doesn't know how to use a computer he sure does keep up very well with my blog ANYWAYS!! It did cause some issues with my parents and family members who didn't agree that i should be airing out my dirty laundry for the world to read. I decided that I don't really care I like writing my blogs and I know I'm not the only one who was affected by abuse as a child sometimes Its best to talk about it. Either way here I am.

Today I decided that I would do something for my boys. It’s been a while since I’ve done any crafty stuff I’ve been really stressed out about some financial issues that we are having… but I guess it’s just something that I have to not worry about as much that would be the second reason why I haven't kept up. Crafting always makes me feel so much better it’s my therapy I suppose. And like most crafters these days I am absolutely addicted to PINTEREST! Had it not been for Pinterest I would not have found some of the blogs that I’m currently following and that would be a shame because they are AWESOME!

So today I decided to make my older son Diego a jet pack. My most favorite thing about Diego is his imagination! I love watching him play, the things that he just comes up with its so fascinating and inspiring. He always challenges me to make some crazy things for him, but this idea was very simple. I went down to the dollar tree where things actually are a dollar! I grabbed some 2 litter sparkling water bottles because i love the flavors, and these are the best size for my son who is a little skinny Minnie. I also got some silver spray paint. Today I've made two jet packs actually I also bought some little jugs of apple juice for my little baby Tenoch who is 18 months. He is in the monkey see monkey do stage and is just infatuated with his big brother. So to avoid screaming and tears I decided I had to be a fair mom and make one for the baby too.

I dumped all the sparking water into a clean jug that i had so I didn't have to drink it all right now and I washed out the bottles the same with the juice jugs. i spray painted them outside on my porch like I always do. I have to say this the spray paint was pretty good for dollar tree spray paint I thought it was going to be runny but it wasn't at all.

 I had some felt and foam in my craft room so I made the flames out of those things but I'm sure there are other materials that you can use I thought about using party streamers but I remembered how delicate they are with water so I used something a little more resistant.

  Now I already had a cardboard box that saved so I cut off the flaps to make the backing. I cut four holes in each corner for the straps.

 And I had some elastic material that I used for the straps. I just inserted them through the holes and stapled them to the cardboard you will need two straps per cardboard backing.

I folded the flames at the tip and hot glued them to the inside of the bottle.

Now I did have an issue with my glue gun. It’s so old that it only has two setting really 

HOT and HOLY MOTHER OF GOD HOT! So because of that one of the bottles started to melt a little bit but what I decided to do is...

 Put a button panel! lol what jet pack works with out a button panel!? That’s just dangerous!

So this is my little tutorial on recycled jet packs. If you have a kid like mine that LOVES to dress up and pretend these are a great way to support his passion. And it’s not expensive or time consuming at all!

La Chicana Chingona...

Sometimes I don’t understand how a person can hate their own race. I mean every race has its screw ups and people that make us look terrible but lately i have been seeing and hearing the most disgusting things… and think we are the reason that no one takes us seriously!

 I am LA CHICANA CHINGONA! I am proud of my beautiful brown skin and I tell my son that he has the most beautiful Aztec Gold skin because well he does it’s like he radiates beauty and it also might be that I’m bias since I am his mother and all. I have a few friends that I have known for years and sometimes their posts on facebook or the things that come out of their mouths bewilder me with the question…. How can you say that about your own ppl?

Don’t get me wrong I am a very proud American so proud in fact that I decided that I would stand for its freedom when I enlisted in the ARMY back in 2006. With that being said I know that I come from somewhere and this land that I walk on everyday was not once ours. I know that I am truly blessed to live in this great country but I also know that I am truly blessed to be of Mexican descent. 

  I understand why there are certain laws and rules and have no issues with them but at the same time I understand why ppl come to America I understand the struggle because I have lived it. I grew up on the Southside of El Paso TX or as we like to call it Chuco Town.  In the Segundo barrio I grew up in a small 1 ½ bedroom apartment with seven other women. My grandmother was the head of our home and she ruled it with an iron fist, but I knew why she was so assertive I knew why she always told us that no man was going to come our way and take care of us we had to be able to fend for ourselves. She was the single mother of 6 girls my mother having me at the age of 16 didn’t really help the whole living situation but my grandmother loved me endlessly she babied me and cuddled with me said the most beautiful things to me and for that I will always be grateful .

I am grateful for those three jobs she held down, for those beans burritos she put in my belly, and those French braids she made me rock… I am grateful for the nights of loteria, and the chanclas to my butt when I was a grosera. I thank her for the bus rides, hand me downs, and Bowie bakery pan con leche before bed… she made me the person I am today… and I thank her the most for the struggle that she endured so that I can sit here and listen to my iTunes and drink my café de olla…. 

 I remember living in fear of the border patrol officers that used to patrol our areas even though I was an American all the ppl that I knew would hide and run as soo as someone said “LA MIGRA!” I remember the cold white face my grandmother would get when she would be walking home and a patrol car would drive by her. She has always been the bravest person I know. When I hear ppl say that we should close our borders because of this immigrant problem and then see that they too are of Mexican descent I chuckle because with those statements they are taking for granted the struggle that someone else has endured for them…  I love seeing that Mexican American who names their kids American names and tell them that mexicans are dirty and law breakers...but they can get down on an enchilada plate when it’s put in front of them. That same person will encourage their kiddos to check the Hispanic box when applying to college. Might as well use it for something right? Hahaha… I love my husband Jorge who hates to be called George, my sons Diego and Tenoch who are proud Americans while they sport their guayaberas that their abuela got for them in Mexico.
My boys say Jefa, papi, and Orale!... love titi and their abuela, they get down on those bean burritos and tortas while quenching their thirst with some agua de horchata!
 they make me so proud every day... they are aztec gold and ill beat down anyone who calls them dirty beaners... because we are BROWN AND PROUD!

There is nothing wrong with loving this wonderful country… but also there is nothing wrong with loving yourself and where you came from. It’s sad that some ppl don’t know the love of being Chicano, the culture, the art, the food, the PRIDE! I hope that my children carry on this love and traditions… I hope their heart is not contaminated by the hate of those that may look like them… but are no where near as honorable…

 Hate is not honor it’s IGNORANT!

my birthday boy turns 1!

         

As I sit here reminiscing about where I was this time last year I can’t help and be amazed at the strength that I have. Last year at this very time I was scared out of my mind about giving birth to my second son Tenoch. I had had the worst pregnancy from the very beginning I was destined for trouble. Around May 2010 I shattered my leg in a roller derby practice and had to get surgery on mother’s day of all days. It was the worst pain I have ever endured. The morning after the leg surgery I lay in my bed screaming at the top of my lungs sweating from the pain. I felt like I had run out of tears there was nothing that I could do, no medication that I could take to make it all go away. About a few weeks later when I was going into the doctor for a checkup and x-ray I was informed that I was about less than 2 weeks pregnant... I couldn't believe it! We had been trying for 3 years and all of a sudden here was our chance! But the doctors were very skeptical they kept telling us that "we were barely pregnant" whatever that meant... I was informed because of the trauma that I suffered that I should not be surprised when I miss carry and it was best that I don't even imagine a baby in the future. I was heartbroken how could they be telling me this... but I decided that I would make the best of it if and when I happened to miss carry then I would deal with that at that time until then I was pregnant and loving it! I was still on bed rest and in a great deal of pain... but now with the realization that I was having a little baby all of those pain killers I was taking just didn't feel right so I just suffered and toughed it out..

 About a month later I suddenly had a terrible pain in my leg that felt like a Charlie horse that just wouldn't go away! The pain started to subside though I spoke to a doctor they dismissed it and I was sent home to my bed. On July 12th I woke up with a terrible pain in my lung and felt like I was drowning. when I started coughing up blood my husband rushed me to the ER where I was informed that I had blood clots in my legs that had traveled to my right lung killing part of it. I was admitted to the ICU instantly and informed that I would be put on blood thinners. The doctor told me with a stern face and a raspy voice that they were hoping I would survive the night. WHAT? What are you talking about I asked. The doctor told me the blood clot was so big that the only reason I was still alive was because I was so young or because god wanted it that way. Normally people with a blood clot that size would of died instantly. My blood clot was a little bit bigger than 4cm my little baby growing away was barely 2cm. fear came over me and as I laid in that bed alone all I could think about was my Diego... how I would miss all his great moments, how I was going to be a distant memory to him. I was so scared as I drifted off to sleep... as I woke up the next morning I for the first time in a long time was so thankful to be alive. I mean I was always happy that I got another day but when your told that this might be it when you actually wake up it’s like a wonderful feeling that engulfs you! I was told that the best thing for me was to terminate my pregnancy and wait till I was better so that I would be healthier and the complications wouldn't be there. For a split second I thought well maybe but in the end I just couldn't do it. as the months went by I was in terrible pain, I was taking injections in my pregnant belly I was told weekly that if I was to have complications during birth the risk of death was severely high. if I were to need a C-section that I would most likely die. For nine months I was terrified of my "due date" it was more like a death sentence to me! I had to deal with terrible asthma, blood clots, injections, and still the terrible pain of recovering from my surgery I was miserable! I had no happy moments in my pregnancy no one gave me a baby shower to celebrate my child, no "glowing" feeling. Just sadness and fear for the WHOLE THING! As the 15th approached I was more and more nervous so I did something that I didn't think I was going to do. I asked my mother someone that I try my hardest not to open my heart to the person that I know will always let me down. I asked her to stay the night with me. I figured that she knew my situation, the risk I was running surely if this were to be my last night on earth she would want to spend it by my side. I asked her weeks ahead giving her the reason that we would have to wake up very early to be on time at the hospital so if she could just spend the night it would be so much easier since she was going to take my son to school. She agreed but like always something was more important as I waited for her to arrive that night I got a phone call from her informing me that it was just not convenient for her and that she would just pick up my son in the morning. Anger and sadness consumed me. why!? Why out of all days was she doing this to me! I was scared I just wanted someone to hold me to tell me that I was going to be ok. I wanted to hear that this choice I had made was going to pay off, but there I lay on my sofa hysterical! I couldn't breathe and as my husband got home from work he of course didn't understand why I was so upset. it just wasn't convenient so I should just get over it. It wasn't the point! Didn’t anyone understand! I needed someone I needed comfort. I was so angry I decided just to sleep on the sofa and drive myself to the hospital the next morning, and so I did I woke up and alone I packed my bag giving my son a kiss as he slept. I headed out into the dark cold morning feeling so unbearably alone. When I got to the hospital to be induced I found out that I was already 5cm dilated!

This baby was going to be here soon!! so after a couple of hours my husband arrived and though I was still very upset with him for making me feel like my feelings were so juvenile. I decided that it was not the moment to continue that fight and I just forfeited that one and decided to be happy. as the time got closer and closer the unthinkable happened all the machines around me started beeping in high volumes and 20ppl rushed in. I was being probed and turned and all I could hear was a doctor telling me they couldn't find my baby's heartbeat. THIS WAS IT I THOUGHT! I knew it! I knew I was going to die! Everything started to muffle out I couldn't hear anyone clearly all I could hear was Diego, my little Diego how I missed him. Was I selfish? I wanted him to have a brother someone he could play with and make memories with. I wanted to have another person to love and who love me! How could this be happening! As the doctor explained to me we are going to have to prep you for surgery I felt like I was drowning in my tears.

Just then my doctor rushed in and saved the day she somehow positioned me a certain way and took me off the Pitocin and there it was the most wonderful sound ever! My baby's heart beat! About an hour later I was pushing! 3 minutes into it there he was! The sweetest baby every Tenoch Julian Chavez as I held him in my arms gooey, bloody, with that fresh baby smell. I said to him "what the fuck do those doctors know my love huh we showed them. We made it!" and my doctor replied “that's true sometimes we don't know anything” I loved him so much instantly. I had waited for him for 9 months everyone kept saying how it wasn't going to happen, that I was crazy for wanting to do this. It was all worth it. no one celebrated us and yet through it all I was holding you in my arms. This year has been a world wind tomorrow my little baby is going to be a year old and he has made my life better every single day. For 9 months I was in pain and in fear. Now for a year I have been so happy because every day that I wake up he greets me with a smile and toothless grin that makes me so complete. So here we are my love we have made it a year what the fuck do they know? You were worth every injection, every sleepless night, all the pain from lack of painkillers all of it! You were so worth it! I love you with all my heart! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!