I've been trying to keep up with this whole blog thing but its kinda hard since i tend to forget and I'm running around ALL THE TIME but here i am trying my hardest to catch up! and then again i don't know who actually reads these things other than me lol I've been working at my unit now for some time i am part of the civil affairs battalion here in fort bliss tx. the work environment is really stressful at least for me since certain ppl want to make it soooo obvious that they don't like me i always think GROW UP PPL! really i am not going anywhere i am here to stay as long as my children are fed and my bills are paid you can roll your eyes and call me what ever name that you wish....
i recently got into couponing and it was been soooo wonderful! though ppl at work think that im a hoarder (figures they are so selfish and have never had to worry about how they are going to feed a family of 4. since they don't want to have children... ) its a scary feeling when you husband comes home to inform you that the paycheck that he has been bringing home is going to be slightly less... because his hours are being cut from 40 to 18. that was the paycheck that you already thought wasn't enough. now your supposed to be some sort of magician and stretch out $522.00 to cover everything! when your mortgage is $600.00 of course i had to help him out.. we have saved soo much money and just the comfort of knowing that we are stocked up for a few months is soo refreshing those moments of stressing out and crying every nite of how i was going to pay my bills doesn't happen as often as it used to... everything is covered... it is A LOT of work but it really pays off in the end...
on some sad news well sad to me at least, my son no longer wears toddler size clothing :( he is a big kid now! agghhh omg! when did this happen? i still remember the lil kicks in my belly, the scared shit less feeling i had for 10months. How was i going to raise a baby. I had no idea that it would just come naturally I mean they all tell u but hell u don't know for sure.i remember how fragile he looked so little and thin, like a lil baby chick with no fuzz yet.... i couldn't stand the feeling of being away from him... but i always had to be... how has my lil baby transformed from this lil thing that didn't fit into newborn clothing for like a month cuz he was so short to this little person who can express his feeling and thoughts sometimes not at the most appropriate times but still... he went from needing me for survival to telling me that he doesn't need me to help him do things... its so heart breaking and of course my husband thinks I'm utterly crazy but he doesn't understand.... no one does unless they are a mother... this person that came from me.... he is my heart... the first boy i truly loved.... i know its silly yes of course hes going to get older... but with being a soldier and all the responsibilities that in tales i feel like i missed the best part of life being a mother... he was my first and as many children as i continue to have its never going to be the same... i missed out on the first WOW experience of my life... ill never forgive myself for being that selfish... for putting my job before my child...
these days have been very tiresome and i have to say that i wouldn't have been able to get through it all had it not been for my mother... she has really turned into my life saver i hope that she know that i appreciate her very much....
